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» The Joke Thread
dad2paisley
 Posted: Jul 20 2010, 10:46 PM
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How about keeping all the jokes in one thread?
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One day, an Englishman walked into an antiques shop in London. Looking around, he notices a life-sized bronze sculpture of a cat. The sculpture is so intriguing he decides he must buy it and asks the shopkeeper the price. "Twelve pounds for the cat, sir," the shopkeeper tells him, "and 100 pounds for the story that goes with it". "I'll take the cat," says the man, "but you can keep the story."

The transaction completed, the Englishman leaves the store with the bronze cat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live cats emerge from an alley and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another alley, more cats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred cats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of cats swarm from alleys, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars.

Thousands of cats are now at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the cats keep up, hissing insanely, now not just thousands, but tens of thousands, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of cats several blocks long is behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps onto a lamp post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze cat into the River Thames. Clinging to the lamp post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of cats surges over the banks into the river, where they all drown.

Amazed and almost dumbstruck, he makes his way back to the antiques shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the story," says the shopkeeper. "No," says the Englishman, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Asylum seeker."
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dad2paisley
 Posted: Jul 24 2010, 10:50 PM
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A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling-film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

:tofunny:
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Beryl
 Posted: Aug 14 2010, 03:47 PM
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:tofunny:
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dad2paisley
 Posted: May 24 2011, 12:18 PM
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